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Who knew flowers could be eaten. Well my friends; I saw this on a website and would love to try this one day. It looks delicious.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas…I had an enjoyable Christmas with family and friends. This was my first Christmas without my mom and it was difficult. Another first without mom, was for my birthday earlier this month. On both of these occasions each year, mom would call and say “happy birthday or merry christmas, my girl, one of my stars I love you” and she would break into the birthday song, mom could sing. I miss that, but I will continue to cherish the memories of those days.

I woke up on both those occasions crying as I remember that I would not hear my mothers’ voice on the other end of a call or see her for Christmas dinner. However, I know “it is well”.

Christmas Eve I attempted to bake Jamaican Christmas cake and for the life of me I could not remember what to put in it, I have my mommy’s industrial cake mixer that she left for my daughter that loves to bake and decided to use it to mix the cake, my shoulder was hurting and I did not feel like going the short cut way of using the box cake mix, I wanted to make it from scratch. I attempted to gather the ingredients and was a total failure at it. Overcome with emotions, I left it and went to bed.

Christmas morning I got up and it was like a flood gate of stuff just open up and again the emotions took hold of me. I cried for what seems like an eternity, then I pulled myself together and went to baking, cooking and getting ready for Christmas dinner. Christmas was one of moms favorite holidays. I think I did a decent job on the cake as everyone said it was good, or maybe they just said it because they wanted dinner, lol! Dinner was a success..

I got my love of baking and cooking from my mom, who got it from my grand aunt. Mom’s potato pudding with the soft top was the best. I am still trying to get it right, lol.. I can hear mom saying “pickney poor the milk on top of it with the butter, do this, do that and you have the soft top” I am a work in progress with that, lol..

While there will be other first without mom, I chose daily to take it one day at a time; living each day to the fullest with the knowledge that she would want me/us to be happy and keep her legacy alive through all we do. Until next time, walk good my peeps!

#LiveLoveLaugh #MinicePickney #SiblingLove #FamilyFirst

I wish for you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy kwanzaa, and Happy Holiday. May the peach of the season be with you and your loved ones now and forever more.

It is my prayer and hope that each of us will love a lot more, give more than we receive, speak positivity to each other, help where we can expecting nothing in return and be kind to each other always.

Remembering always that tomorrow is not promised to anyone of us, thus; doing the right thing should be priority. Forgive the ones who hurts us, let go of grudges, let go of ill will, and as much as it is possible try to be listener. Someone, somewhere, sometimes needs a listener and not an advisor.

“Yesterday is todays tomorrow” Unknown author. Don’t forget to breath through it all.

Each night before you go to sleep, remember to count your daily blessings instead of your daily stress. A few lines of Count your blessings, by Irving Berlin: “If you’re worried and you can’t sleep just count your blessings instead of sheep and you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings”

#LiveLoveLaugh #FamilyForever

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

I feel so alone, (no fault of anyone but mine), yet, I have so many people around me. Are they my people? Or just people?

My people are going through the same thing I am. We are all trying to deal/come to terms with the death of a loved one. I know, I know, someone will say that we are all dancing around and not ‘dealing with it”.  While that might be very close to the truth, I am trying REALLY hard to, but it is easier said than done. Someone we love and care about, the person who sets us straight even though we are all adults, the person who calls and checks in on us, worrying if we are ok, the person who calls the grandkids (even the ones that were away at college) to check on them and put a “little smalls” lol, in their account, the person who gives of herself to give to US, our mom/grandma/auntie is gone.

Some days I am ok talking about or “dealing” with some things, other days, most days really, I want to curl up by myself, don’t talk, don’t eat, just be alone.  I know this is not good, but I just want to be. I just want to stop hurting. Today is one of those days. 

You see, I don’t have an aunt older or younger to call, my aunt, mom’s only sister, predeceased mom by almost two years. I don’t have an uncle, mom only had one sibling. I don’t have grandparents.  The reality is, I have my people, and we are all going through the same thing and trying to “deal”. Don’t get me wrong, people are there who offers comfort, and it is very appreciated. 

I have been hurt before, I have felt pain before, but I never knew losing someone could hurt like this.   I miss you so much mom…… R.I.P……Love you forever…..

Mom, I know you can’t hear or see this, but I am saying it anyway. The kids are doing amazing. Your eldest granddaughter is now on her own in another State, yes, she got THE job, lol, your other granddaughter is still in another State doing well, married and all and I love her husband, and your grandson is on the academic honor roll and on his high school basketball team.  I know you would be proud of them.

How many of us have a gratitude journal?  I know I do not have one. I think i should start one for 2020. Today I give thanks for my life, family, friends and acquaintances. My husband is my rock, I don’t know how I would survive these last few months after my mom passing without him in my corner. His support is immeasurable. My children are my voice when I cannot seem to get the right words out. My eldest is my “straight shooter” no mincing of words around here.  She tells it like it is. My middle is my “calmer” she helps to mellow me out and my youngest is my “mixer” he has a balance of both. Don’t get me wrong, they all three have a bit of each other’s temperaments. 

I am thankful that I am the woman I am, smart intelligent, self confident, sometimes witty, etc, etc, etc…If one should meet me for the first time now, they would say I am always in a “funk”, believe me when I tell you that I am trying my hardest to get out of it, my last resort is to see a therapist, which I have been ignoring for some time, but it appears I cannot escape the inevitable.  It is something I must do for my health and the health of my family and all involved. 

I am in need of therapy for things that has happened in my life when I was a child all the way to my adult life.  I need therapy to grieve my family members death, especially my mom. In the past several years I have come to learn inside details of my moms’ life from her that I did not know before and it pains me to know that she went through so much and yet was one of the strongest women I know. 

I am thankful for the sacrifices that my mom made for me and my siblings, even when the odds were against her.

Be thankful for what you have and who you have in your life today, tomorrow is not promised to us.

#LiveLoveLaugh

I had an amazing weekend this past weekend in Jamaica with some of my high school classmates, some I had not seen since graduation, 31 years ago.  Let me just say that all of us are over 47 years old, but the fun we had would put us smack dap in our mid to late 30s.  From back bending crawls through Green Grotto cave, stopping on the side of the road to get jelly coconut and sugar cane, eating jerk “something” at the jerk stop, partying until 2 AM two nights in a row, oooh lala. We even had an all white dinner and dance which was spectacular. The ladies were looking as gorgeous as ever, and lawks, the gentlemen dem di handsome, oooh chile.  Then Sunday it was off to climb the falls at Dunn’s River.  What an amazing weekend! 

Catching up with old friend was awesome, making new ones was even better.  There were people in our group that did not attend or graduate from our high school, but you would not be able to tell.  These ladies and gentlemen fit in as if they knew all of us from high school.  

The sad part of the trip was having to say farewell to my friends and head back home.  I sincerely wish that I had more time to spend with them, as I know that there is lots more to catch up on.

You see, sometimes we don’t know the depths of friendships we form with others until we have lost them, and I lost some really good friends after graduation. In high school for me it was all about academics and just getting “it” out of the way.  It did not interest me to form that close bond with anyone other than my siblings, my mom’s children. Don’t get me wrong, I had “friends,” but no close bond was formed, at least not on my part.  As I got older, I realize that some of the people that I formed friendships within high school were lifelong friends. I was lucky to connect with some friends through Facebook, so that I can keep these bonds strong.

My advice to you reading this blog, form friendships that will last, cherish your friendships, nurture your friendships, pour love and respect into your friendship.  Good friends are sometimes better than pocket money. 

Remember whatever you do in this life, always Strive for Excellence. 

Make someone’s life better than when you first meet them.  If you can’t make it better, for Heaven’s sake, don’t make it worse.

#LiveLoveLaugh.

Last Friday I was walking towards my car and noticed a lady laying under a tree on the ground. My initial reaction was one of fear that something was wrong with her, so I walked over to her and realized that she was sound asleep, I gently said “hello” and she woke up, looked at me and said something in Haitian Creole, I signaled to her to ask if she was ok, she smile with the brightest smile, looked at me, pointed to her watch, then to the bus stop and motion a driving sign. I then realized that she was waiting on the bus and was just taking a rest, so I signaled the OK sign and she smiled and went back to lay down.

I thought to myself of the countless times when I lived in Jamaica and would see people just “chillin” under a cool shady tree. Now I am here in the USA and seems to be so out of the norm to see someone resting under a tree. It appeared she was on her way home from work; she was wearing scrubs. We might all benefit from chillin under a shady tree sometimes. It relaxes the body and the mind.

I love to cook. Today I decided I was going to make vegan Jamaican patties from scratch, the way my grand aunt taught me. So I went to the grocery store, in my pantry, to gather ingredients. To my delight I was able to get everything needed from my pantry with exception of the Gardein beefless grounds, that I had to get from the actual store.

While I was combining the ingredients for the crust of the patty, I remembered how my grand aunt would tell me, “you ave to rub is so Chile to get it likkle lumpy, then add the water one tip at a time” I remember my mom calling and telling me “I made this or I made that so stop and get some on your way home”. Floods of emotions rushed over me as I reminisced on some of the good things in my life. I was able to do a pretty good job on the patties, if I do say so myself, my son and one of my daughters said “they were tasty”. I will take that.

The simple things in life are sometimes taken for granted, if only we would take a page from our fore-parents book and just “live” things might not seem so complicated. Take that rest under the tree, bake that patty, go for a walk, just LIVE. #LiveLoveLaugh

I accept the fact that my life is what I make of it and not what others think it should be. I have total control of my destiny. I chose to put out positive energy at all times; however, I am human and I mess up. When I do I am the first to acknowledge it and say I am sorry. Sometimes even saying I am sorry just to have peace.

I recently came into contact with some individuals I had not seen or heard from in many years. While initially I was excited, I was soon reminded why we had not seen each other or spoken all these years. Some of them are just as arrogant now as they were then, no growth took place over the years. One would think that as we grow older that we would put away childish behaviors, nah, not some of these people. They make mountains out of molehills, they shoot down others without a second thought as to how their actions, words or behavior affects others. Then, they have the gall to send friend request on facebook, for what? So you can troll? No thank you love, I am good.

I will leave you right there in the friend request section so you can do you and I will continue to do me. This is one time I will say “sorry not sorry” because I do not wish to continue to associate myself with negative people who continue to belittle others to enhance their own self worth. I am too old for this kind of behavior. I would rather be friendless.