With everything going on with this pandemic, it is stressful. As if that was not enough here comes the “powers that supposedly be” who believes that this here USofA belongs to them, so they take it up on themselves to kill another black man.

I’m tired of crying for my little black son, I’m tired of crying for my black daughters, I’m tired of crying for my black husband, I’m tired of crying for my black brothers and my black sisters, I’m tired of crying for my black father, I’m tired of crying for my black nieces and my black nephews, I’m tired of crying for my other black family members, I’m tired of crying for my black friends, their black sons and their black daughters, I’m tired of crying for the black nation….I’m tired of crying for my black self….😢😢😢😢

When will it END?…….Stop killing us……PLEASE……We are humans too…stop treating us like we are less than….stop kneeling🧎‍♀️ in our necks, our backs, our bodies…..if you must kneel; kneel and pray with us, kneel and talk with us (not at us)…

I’m afraid for all the black princes who will grow into black kings always having to be defending themselves all the damn time…

I SAY ENOUGH!!!

#Blacklivesmatter

#Oursonslivesmatter

#Justlikeyoursons

#LiveLoveLaugh

On Sunday 5/10/20, Mother’s Day I went run/walking for 4 miles..didn’t know I had it in me..lol..but I did it. I took a few pictures and videos of nature; then went home. You see, it was the 2nd year that mom was not hear to celebrate Mother’s Day. During my run/walk I tried to on the good memories with mom; people I passed possible thought I was loosing it as I was just smiling widely at everyone….it was good….I got home and decided I was not cooking as my husband had stated that he and our son would take care of dinner…mmmmm…I ate breakfast and sat in my recliner for approximately 5 hours reminiscing about the good times with my mom and the last Mother’s Day dinner at my house in 2017.

Just about 5pm the house phone rang, my son yelled that he will get it….a few minute later he came downstairs and said, “mom look outside” I looked and there were angels, in the form of some of my Church families, in my backyard bearing dinner, flowers, gifts and love. Everyone was wearing a mask and social distance was maintained… My husband and the children were in on it…..but they left me in the dark…Let me tell you I got everything a girl needs to pamper her stressful soul. As one person from the group so eloquently puts it, “We just wanted you to know WE GOT YOU BOO 🥰 play the CD 💿 and listen to the soothing music 🎶 .. light the candles 🕯 and burn the scented mantra oil while you soak in the CBD bath 🛀 bombs they will destress you🙃. You can then have some black rice and veges fruit 🍉 🍍 🍌 and juice 🥤 while you look at the multicolored ROSE 🌹on the table and on the wall and the WE LOVE YOU STEPHNE poster 🥰 and red heart balloons 🎈 🎈You will now have something additional to journal 📓about it and create more memories. You can plant the addition to 🌱 your herb garden tomorrow🤣”. This about sums it up. I certainly planted the addition to my herb garden I started in my mom’s honor a few weeks ago.

I count my blessings for the time spent with my mom sharing good and bad times. I count my blessings for my children and husband; who are always there, they are my main source of support. I count my blessings for my sibling (mom’s children) as we are going through this together. I count my blessings for family members and friend who are always there giving me/us words of encouragements, praying for me/us. I count my blessings for these Church family who are always there for me. Last year they cried with me, prayed with/for me, comforted me, showed up for me during and after my mom’s passing; and they still continue to support me and pray for/with me.

I express my gratitude to all for the outpouring of love, support and words of encouragement. I thank you all from the deepest part of my soul for your unconditional love and support.

#LiveLoveLaugh #OneBreathAtATime #LoveLightPray

Mom, Judith, Minice It is 2:05 AM one year ago today, 5/7/2019, one day after your birthday. I watched you take your last breath. My mind went into panic mode initially after I hear that “sound”, but then I remembered you saying, “you cannot panic when I’m gone, I need you to stay with it and do what I wished”, so I snapped out of it tears running down my face and went and got the nurse; who came in and confirmed my worst fear that you had passed. I remember her asking me, what time I hear the last breath, I mumbled 2:05, because I had looked at my watch when I heard that last breath.

I looked over at my sister who was sitting up looking and crying. I didn’t know what to say to her. So I just cried.

I’ve played this scene over and over and over in my head so many time, and each time it hurts like hell, because try as I may, I cannot change how things went that early morning of May 7, 2019.

Notifying family members after that felt like I was on auto pilot. But, with God I was able to dial the numbers and mumbled what needed to be said. Because you are who you are, having everything in place; T’s crossed and I’s dotted, arranging your funeral with my siblings and others; was not too stressful.

Mom, your legacy will live on through us; your children, grandchildren , Neice, grandniece, son-in-law and other family and friends.

Mom, we love you endlessly. Rest in eternal peace, mom! ❤️❤️🙏🏾🤗🤗❤️❤️🌺🌺🌺

Mom, today is your birthday, big numba 69.. but you are not here to celebrate it because you took your rest one year tomorrow. I/we were not prepared for you to leave, but God said it was time for you to rest and you said “it is well with my soul” so you went.

I’ve lost loves before, but I’ve never lost a mom so I did not know it would be so painful. I’m hurting mom, the pain in my heart does not stop, even crying doesn’t help. I don’t know how long I will hurt like this, but I am willing to bear it if it means I never forget you.

I wish I had more time with you, mom. I wish we could have traveled this beautiful world together after you retired, because God knows you deserve it; for all the selfless things you did for us, your children, all the sacrifices you made for us. Some you told me about, some you never got the chance to talk about.

Mom, I love and miss you soooo much 😢.
Rest in eternal peace mom, until we meet again.

When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound and time shall be no more and the roll is called up yonder, I pray I will be there to see you, because I know you will be there, singing “It is well with my soul”. Sleep well mom.
❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺🌺🌺🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️

This week for the first time since my mom passed away almost one year now, I consciously acknowledged my husbands’ feelings about my mom passing. I have been in my own tunnel and he has been my light through it all. Earlier this week I was in that tunnel and he was guiding me though, somehow I saw a different light in my head and I asked him, how have you been doing, I know you loved mom too?; and I really listened to him. Thank you my ROCK for always having that light to take me through my tunnels even when I was not there to see you through yours… I love you…

Two nights ago I was sitting in the very chair looking at video clips and pictures of mom and my flood gates opened; my first reaction was to go into my tunnel, but I started thinking WWJD (what would Judith do)? This is what I think Judith would do; she would look at these clips and picture and tell a story about each of them, what she was doing, where the picture was taken, why the picture was taken, etc.. So I started looking at each picture and video clip a different way, rather then seeing them as my mom is gone, I started seeing them as; my mom is right here in my heart, in her children and grandchildren heart, in her son-in-law heart, in her nieces heart, in the heart of everyone she came into contact with during her time here on earth. My mom made a lot of positive impact on people and I know she had lots of plans to do so much more, but God had different plans. Did I agree with His plan, no, but it is not up to me, I just have to go along with His plans. That was between Him and mom and I believe mom was ok with the plan after awhile as she would alway say, “don’t worry, it is well with my soul”.

As a trained counselor I know this is going to take sometime for me to get through. My friend Micky Dread (R.I.P) would say “Life is a Journey, Life is a Stage, make sure when the spotlight hits you you are ready to perform”

I am taking it one breath at a time. #LiveLoveLaugh #LightLovePray

It was about late March, early April of 2019 when I started feeling pain in my right shoulder, I ignored it for several months, even went to Jamaica in October for my high school reunion. Suffice to say, in November, I ended up in the ER as I could not bear the pain anymore, as the months went by the pain had gotten progressively worse. I was X-rayed and told to follow up with an orthopedic doctor as I “might” have a rotator cuff tear. In early December I saw an Orthopedic doctor who sent me for a MRI. At the follow-up appointment with the Orthopedic doctor I was diagnosed with “Frozen Shoulder”. This was the first time I was hearing this term. Below are the symptoms I found on the Mayo Clinic’s website. This is for informational purposes ONLY. If you are feeling pain, see your doctor.

F

Frozen shoulder

Frozen shoulder, also known as adhesive capsulitis, is a condition characterized by stiffness and pain in your shoulder joint. Signs and symptoms typically begin gradually, worsen over time and then resolve, usually within one to three years.

Symptoms

Frozen shoulder typically develops slowly, and in three stages. Each stage can last a number of months.

• Freezing stage. Any movement of your shoulder causes pain, and your shoulder’s range of motion starts to become limited.
• Frozen stage. Pain may begin to diminish during this stage. However, your shoulder becomes stiffer, and using it becomes more difficult.
• Thawing stage. The range of motion in your shoulder begins to improve.

For some people, the pain worsens at night, sometimes disrupting sleep.

Causes

The bones, ligaments and tendons that make up your shoulder joint are encased in a capsule of connective tissue. Frozen shoulder occurs when this capsule thickens and tightens around the shoulder joint, restricting its movement.

Doctors aren’t sure why this happens to some people, although it’s more likely to occur in people who have diabetes or those who recently had to immobilize their shoulder for a long period, such as after surgery or an arm fracture.

Age and sex: People 40 and older, particularly women, are more likely to have frozen shoulder.

My words: The pain worsening at night, is an understatement, for me, most nights I do not get more than 2, maybe 3 hours of sleep. Even after getting corticosteroids injected into the joint capsule and doing physical therapy. Now the doctor is talking surgery. Don’t know that I am ready for that. ::) The cause for me is unknown, as I do not have diabetes, not since my annual physical in December of 2019, which was after the diagnose of “Frozen shoulder”, I did not have recent surgery. So I guess it must be my age…I am over 40…Well, it’s as they say, “it comes with age”…. LOL!…

Until next time peeps. #liveLoveLaugh

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The things you hear while passing through a airport can be so wild! I had a three and a half hour lay over in Dallas. Trust me when I say I was hungry. I looked around to find a spot where I could get something vegan friendly. Let me tell you, it was not easy. I see everything else but that. However; my stomach was not having me deciding not to eat, so I gave in to the “rumblings” of my stomach and decided to get a sub from subway, worst decision….. any way; while sitting there a man and a boy sat at the table next to me, the boy, appears to be about 14 years old the man looked like he could be in his 40s. This dude proceeded to chastise the child for his choice of food. Telling him; you should not be eating all this food as you will be sitting on a flight for a long period of time and it is just going to sit there in your stomach and you gain weight, plus you are lazy as it is already. Granted he purchased the food for the boy. Granted he himself has a stomach that looks like he just swallow a very large chicken….. Come on people….must we degrade our children in this fashion? I mean Jesus….especially in a public place.

I moved away from that scene. I believe it is the responsibility of every parent to build their child/ren self esteem up not tear them down. Too often parent tear their chid/ren self esteem down by saying things to them that they cannot take back. Those parent then expect the child/ren to be productive members of society and just “live”. Too often I hear parent/s telling children things and then follow with “my parent told me worst and I am fine, you will be fine”. Parent are you really “fine” or did you just “survive” because you had to. Did it really work for you? I really don’t think so.

Be a better parent than your parent was. Be a better human being. Lift up the next generation. Help them to be better than you were. That is how we change the World. That is how we change stigmas. Just be BETTER…..

#LiveLoveLaugh

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